


Just a Little Sleep

by timeless_alice



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, Julian has a cat, Lack of Sleep, Mystery injuries, Singh is concerned, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9232247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeless_alice/pseuds/timeless_alice
Summary: Julian feels like he hasn't slept in days, and doesn't know what's happened to him.





	

To call Julian “exhausted” would be putting how he felt in the mildest terms possible. The words on the case file struggled to penetrate the thick fog in his head, and what managed to refused to stick. At the far edge of his vision danced phantoms, distorted shapes that crept through the office. He felt too heavy, moving too slowly as he tried to work as normal.

At some point, only halfway through his shift, he rested his cheek on his fist, struggling to keep his eyes open. Pain prickled across his knuckles as unkempt stubble pressed against scratches he didn’t recall receiving, but the sensation remained at the edge of his awareness. It bled into all the other aches decorating his body, all of which dimmed in comparison to the feeling that he hadn’t slept in days.

Soon, he gave up on trying to read, on trying to focus at all. His eyelids drooped, eventually shutting, and he promised himself it was just for a second to regather himself. Each breath came in slow and even, deepening despite the agonized twinge it caused in his ribs. He wondered for a moment, in a rather distant and faint way, what on earth he had managed to do to himself. As he gave in more and more to the sleep his attempts to probe his memory were half-hearted at best, and upon finding gaps he could only muster up a slight disconcertion.

Julian couldn’t quite place the exact moment he fell asleep, nor could he guess how long he was like that, but he was jolted into the waking world by Singh rapping his knuckles on his desk. The sudden movement caused something in Julian to scream in agonized protest, but he bit down on any noise and simply smoothed the front of his waistcoat. Now almost fully awake, he sent a glance at Singh, his embarrassment reaching “wanting to be swallowed by the earth” levels as he noticed Singh watching him with an even stare. Julian’s attention hopped to Barry, who sat at his own desk with a smug smirk on his face as he went about his work. It was hardly a surprise he hadn’t bothered to wake Julian earlier.

“Captain,” Julian finally said, clearing his throat and trying his damnedest to seem like he hadn’t just been caught sleeping.

“Albert,” Singh said in his usual “to the point” clipped tone, with one hand planted on his hip and the other on the corner of Julian’s desk. Julian couldn’t read his face, which bore the look of slight annoyance and exasperation he always had, and had to resist the urge to sink into his seat. Singh went on, “I came down to ask how progress was going, but I think I can make a guess.”

Julian rubbed at his chin, mouth twitching into a slight frown. “Sorry, Sir. I’ll have them done by tonight.”

Singh waved his hand, giving a sharp shake of his head. “No.” As he fell silent, Julian could see that Barry had abandoned whatever it had been he was pretending to work on to watch them in turn. No doubt he was excited to hear whatever hell Singh would unleash on Julian.

In the stretch of silence, the anxiety that had been pulsing through Julian was dulled by encroaching fatigue. Singh finally let out a short huff of a sigh. “I think you should go home, and maybe take tomorrow off.”

Julian let out a protesting “what” at the same instant Barry said the same. Singh silenced Barry with a single withering glare, sending him sinking into his chair, before turning back to Julian.

“I’m fine. I just…dozed off for a bit.” It dawned on Julian, even as the words left his mouth, that the excuse was weak. It was even a losing battle to keep his words from slurring just slightly at the edges.

Singh looked ready to roll his eyes, and instead he let out a sigh that bordered on long suffering. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week, Julian.”

Without much thought to what he was doing, Julian touched what he supposed were obvious dark circles under his eyes. Various other excuses tumbled half formed through his head, each one more pathetic than the last. He opened his mouth to provide another insistence that he was fine, really, he just needed a minute, but Singh cut him off.

“I’m getting an officer to take you home, and I don’t want to see you here tomorrow.”

Julian considered protesting further, but under the intense gaze of Singh he realized it would be futile. He merely sighed and mumbled an affirmative.

***

Twenty minutes later, with two of them dedicated to reassuring a coworker that he would be fine getting inside on his own, Julian stood on unsteady legs in front of his apartment door. He forced himself to focus enough to unlock the door, instead of bang the key uselessly against the doorknob. He pushed the door open and stumbled inside, allowing himself to let his composure drop. The door shut with a click, and he stripped out of his outer jacket as he stepped further inside.

The house was as clean as he left it, with books that didn’t fit on any shelves stacked with care besides the furniture. The only thing out of place was a throw blanket, which had originally been placed on the back of an armchair and had since been pulled down, to be occupied by a snoozing cat named Palla. She opened one eye as Julian stepped passed, and a purr began rumbling in her chest when he reached out to scratch, briefly, behind one of her ears. She made no attempt to follow as he moved on, into his room.

He shut the door behind him, more out of habit than out of necessity, as he lived alone and there was no danger of anyone walking in. The worst thing to happen would be the eventual appearance of Palla, pawing at the door and demanding to be let in. No danger of family wandering in, violating his privacy as they tended to do, but nonetheless he still did it.

A chill ran through him, and Julian shook his head to dispel any thoughts of his family before beginning to undress. He looked down at clumsy fingers as they fumbled to undo the buttons of his waistcoat, before slipping it off of his shoulders and onto the floor, to be put away later. His hands hover over his shirt for a moment, hesitant at the prospect of having to remove his binder, but he pushed on, clinging to the thought that he’d soon be in pajamas.

Only to pause at the sight of bruises coloring the pale skin of his chest.

His eyes narrowed, fingertips tracing the black and blue patterns with a light touch, before curiosity caused him to push down. The resulting pain made him let out a sharp yelp, and tears pricked his eyes. He hadn’t noticed them that morning; in fact, his memory of preparing for work was hazy at best. Images of going through the motions, not noticing anything out of the ordinary. Was it even a memory of that morning, or was it just thoughts of some generic, routine morning?

Still half dressed, and trying with a desperate urgency to keep his breathing even, Julian sat on the edge of his bed. He had no recollection of getting into a fight, there were just large patches of nothing in his memory, more than he would ever consider normal. He took a deep breath – perhaps too deep, because something in his chest ached in protest – and told himself that work was getting too him. He was just pushing himself too hard, and the memory gaps were nothing more than a side effect of lost sleep.

He clambered back to his feet to finish what he’d started, clinging to that thought even if the more rational parts of his mind reeled in horror and denial. He clung to any possibility, a lifeline to keep his head above water.

“All I need,” Julian told himself, sounding perhaps more confident in the idea than he truly was, “is a little sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> hc that julian is trans
> 
> come annoy me on tumblr, i'm timelessmulder


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